Healing for Hurting Marriages by Voddie Baucham

Voddie Baucham preaches even more passionately and strongly about what it takes to overcome difficulties in a marriage relationship--namely, GRACE.

This is by far one of the best sermons I've ever listened to on relationships, and I think maybe it should be required listening for one to even exist! Ok, ok, whether you are in a marriage relationship or not, Voddie Baucham will point you to the source of our problem and to the solution in this message.

Voddie is a "grace man" through and through. He is Biblical and trusts in God's sovereignty over all things. America is blessed to have such a man of wisdom in one of its pulpits every Sunday.

A Marriage Built to Last - The Need for Honor

Pastor Billy Crone speaks fervently (and amusingly) about honor within a marriage relationship.

[Note: at the end, the pastor speaks about praying for salvation, to which I would like to add this link and this link in order to present an additional and hopefully more Biblical description of receiving salvation. Also see the many other topics concerning salvation under the "categories" list on the sidebar.]

Being Satisfied

As a single 26 year old Christian man, I am writing to my fellow single brothers and sisters in Christ about satisfaction with God's will in Christ Jesus our LORD.

Sometimes we can hear so much about what we "should" be doing, that we begin to think, "Oh no, not another reminder that I have to be satisfied with whatever God wants for my life, even if it is exactly what I dread."

But that is not the Biblical view of being satisfied with God's will. Biblically, God only gives to the wicked what they most fear and dread will happen to them (Prov. 10:24).

But to the righteous, God gives them the desires of their hearts, satisfies them with good things, renews them and fills them with joy (Psa. 34:9; 37:4; 81:16; 103:5 Prov. 10:24; Isa. 40:31; Rom. 14:17; 15:13).

This is His will for you in Christ: that you always rejoice, pray without ceasing, and give thanks in everything (1 Thes. 5:16-18).

If this is God's will for us, then why would we want anything different?

"Because what if God does not give me what I want," you might think.

But listen to me, if you know God's Son and you know the Father, and you know His great love for you, then how can you doubt that He wants anything but what is the best for you?

What it comes down to is this: are you satisfied with doing the will of God? His will is simple and clear: 1) always be joyful in Him, He loves you and is making you holy; 2) always pray, because God loves to answer the requests of His children in unexpected ways; and 3) always be thankful, because you are getting way more than you deserve and God is giving you good things to bless you.

If you are rejoicing in Christ, continuing in prayer and thankful in Christ, then you are doing God's will. You can be satisfied with that.

Whether we get married or not, live or die, have this or that, what matters is that we are doing the will of God in the midst of it. I believe that there is no other way for a married couple to not be disappointed with each other than for them to first be satisfied in Christ. There is no other way for singles to be who they are created to be than to first be satisfied in Christ.

I firmly believe that being content takes action. First let's be content with God's will for our lives, if we are saved it is always going to be good, even in hard times. Second, let's do what He commands us to do. This starts with loving Him and loving His people. Get out and work by visiting other Christians, be happy with the godly friends you have, help each other out more, out-do one another in showing honor to each other, do things to help the poor, encourage the downcast and build each other up in the faith, preach the gospel to the lost and visit the hospitals.

If you are a young man and you don't have the gift of celibacy, then get busy ordering your life and finding a wife for yourself. I know she is already getting tired of waiting for you to do something. Remember you can only pick one, so find the one you like and stick with her. Learn to be the kind of guy noble women are crazy about. Read the book of Proverbs as many times as you can in one year and by the grace of God practice it. Experience knowing Christ for real and be gentle, kind and gracious.

If you are a lady, then do all you can to encourage, support and help others out as you wait for that guy to finally do something. Babysit people's kids, learn to be a great cook, help your sisters out, delight in the Word of God, be self-controlled. Every relationship in your life matters. Remember, God knows what you need.

If you are doing these things already, then don't get tired of doing it. Keep in mind that God is blessing you and has great things in store. Maybe your future husband or future wife will see you doing these things and will be irresistibly attracted to you?

Maybe it won't matter to you if anyone sees you or not, because you know what it is to be saved by grace? You know what it is to be loved by God, to have His Son die and rise for your redemption, to be eternally, irresistibly and stubbornly loved in Christ Jesus, to receive His Holy Spirit and to have a future hope of an eternal inheritance. You will one day reign as kings in the Kingdom of our Lord.

If this is you, be happy and keep doing good. If not, then get alone, get silent, get on your knees, get your Bible open and plead to know this love of God through faith in Jesus Christ.

"Even youths shall faint and be weary,
and young men shall fall exhausted;
but they who wait for the LORD shall renew their strength;
they shall mount up with wings like eagles;
they shall run and not be weary;
they shall walk and not faint."
(Isaiah 40:30-31 ESV)

"Therefore, my beloved brothers, be steadfast, immovable, always abounding in the work of the Lord, knowing that in the Lord your labor is not in vain."
(1 Corinthians 15:58 ESV)

"Trust in the LORD and do good..."
(Psalm 37:3)

Hope this helps you out a little my friends,

Penn T.

(If you have anything you would like to add, comments or questions, please do.)

Married to Christ (Romans 7:4)

I just published my latest Bible study, but unfortunately, I have not had time to update some issues with my As It Is Written blog, so I am publishing this study here for anyone interested. It is on the topic, "What does it mean to be married to Christ," from Romans 7:4. I hope you enjoy, it is a short one. :)

Who Should I Marry? Part 2

Here are some passages I wanted to share from the booklet, "Whom Shall I Marry," by Andrew Swanson:

"It is not wrong to wish for someone you find attractive, who shares similar interests or a similar background. These and many other qualifications have some importance in guiding your choice of a marriage partner. The one qualification, however, that is a must as opposed to an optional extra is that the prospective partner really shares your Christian faith.

If your prospective partner is good looking, has a secure occupation, shares many of your interests and whatever else you value - that is a bonus not to be despised. But these matters are not of first importance. They must never replace the one thing that really matters." [which is that we marry 'only in the Lord' or only a true believing Christian].

And in another place it says:

"2. Marriage to a believer is one of the ways you can glorify the Lord.

The great question for every believer is, how can I best live to please God? The Apostle Paul teaches us that our whole life should be governed by the principle, 'whatever you do, do it all for the the glory of God' (1 Corinthians 10:31). In the context in which Paul writes these words, he is emphasizing the fact that even our eating and drinking should be controlled by this principle. He is clearly teaching that we can and ought to seek to glorify God in the things we allow ourselves to eat and drink. But that is only one example of the principle. It is not just that God expects us to glorify him in what we eat or drink but also, 'whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.' This means that every believer who contemplates marriage ought to ask, 'Can I be married to the glory of God?

Believers should never simply get married because they want to be married or because they feel pressured into being married. No! believers should only marry if they can marry to the glory of God. Believers should be thinking of the purpose that God intends marriage to fulfill."

Just remember, this is a blog about grace and I wouldn't be a 'grace man' if I didn't say that all we have, or will ever have that is good, only comes from God. Prov. 19:14 says, "House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD." God has not promised us a marriage partner, but He has promised eternal life, where marriage will no longer be necessary, and He has promised to give more grace to the humble (Titus 1:2; Luke 20:34-36; James 4:6).

When considering marriage, I usually think about death also, because we just don't know if we will have the opportunity to get the kind of marriage we desire in our hearts. I honestly never expected to live past 22 or 23 for a couple reasons. One is that I know people who died at a similar age before they were able to marry, and I always thought, "Why them and not me?" We just don't know if we will live long enough to be married. Christ could even return before that happens, so we need to make sure marriage is not "the end all be all" of our hope, but eternity with the risen Savior is. I'll be arriving at 25 in a few months, and it is possible that I could die before I get there. So I think the question we should examine ourselves with most searchingly is, "Have we found our satisfaction in the truth and trustworthiness of God in Jesus Christ according to the promises of His Word - the Bible?" With that said, I still plan on getting a prudent wife from the LORD if He would be so gracious.

This post relates to these also:

Who Should I Marry? Two Resources to Help in the Struggle

He Gives Grace to the Humble
Is God's Grace Sufficient?

I also wrote in much more detail on the subject of marriage a number of weeks ago here:

Genesis Chapter Two: Man and Woman Married in the Garden

Who Should I Marry? Two Resources to Help in the Struggle

This title comes from a booklet called, "Whom Shall I Marry?" published by the Banner of Truth Trust and available here to order.

With all the commotion around Christian circles today about singleness, dating and marriage, I thought I'd check out this booklet. Personally, I think a lot of the singleness/dating/marriage talk and books flowing through Evangelical circles are somewhat ridiculous. There is a certain point where you can talk about certain subjects too much (of course not including the gospel, which can never be spoken too much, yet I've been accused of that). Nevertheless, it still is an important subject and shouldn't be ignored.

I have been unmarried my entire adult life, which is going on seven years (if you consider age 18 to be adulthood). That means that I have had some time to wrestle with thoughts on this issue, (just as those close to my age can very aptly understand). People often ask me, "Why don't you have a girlfriend?" or "Are you looking for anyone?" and other similar questions. My most recent answers have been like this: "When Abraham sent his servant to get a wife for Isaac, the one thing he made his servant swear to do was not to get a wife for his son from the Canaanite daughters." (Genesis 24:3). There is one crucial thing for a Christian when considering marriage, and that is marrying "only in the Lord" (marrying only a like-minded believer - 1 Corinthians 7:39). The Canaanite women proved to be a disaster to every saint who ever messed with them (just remember Solomon who was the wisest guy, yet even he stumbled in this area).

The starting point of the booklet is a much needed reminder that we are not our own, but were bought with a price (1 Corinthians 6:20; 7:23). We belong to God, and as His temple, we are to be holy and honor God with our bodies. This should be at the center of our thinking when choosing what to do about marrage. I especially like what 1 Peter 1:18-19 tells us about being bought with the precious blood of Christ. That kind of love deserves our whole-hearted devotion to Him who first loved us.

Well, the booklet does a great job at explaining this familiar concept in a positive way as well as in the negative. It talks about why Christians must not marry unbelievers and gives a lot of good reasons for it, which I don't have time to list. One of them being that unbelievers are the enemies of Christ.

It keeps at the center of the message the truth that God is a benevolent Father who knows what our greatest needs are and how to provide for His children best (Matthew 7:11). It also offers some helpful advice, such as this: "In seeking a marriage partner, the first rule to observe is: 'Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness' (Matthew 6:33)." I would recommend this resource to any single Christian friend thinking about what kind of person is acceptable to consider marrying. I really don't think there is anything too legalistic in it, (such as I've found in some of the other books I've read on Christian single male/female relationships). I wish I could say more, but my lunch break time is running out. :º

While I'm at it, I also want to list one of my favorite resources I ever found on this topic, which is a message by Mark Dever at a Desiring God conference called, "Christian Hedonists or Religious Prudes? The Puritans on Sex." I really think the Puritans understood more than we do all the trials and temptations surrounding this subject. If you have an hour to listen, or download it and listen in the car, etc. This one is really worth your time.

That's all for now, and may God's magnificent grace through Christ be your glory.

Related Posts:
Who Should I Marry? part 2
Is God's Grace Sufficient?