September 30, 2008

Who Should I Marry? Part 2

Here are some passages I wanted to share from the booklet, "Whom Shall I Marry," by Andrew Swanson:

"It is not wrong to wish for someone you find attractive, who shares similar interests or a similar background. These and many other qualifications have some importance in guiding your choice of a marriage partner. The one qualification, however, that is a must as opposed to an optional extra is that the prospective partner really shares your Christian faith.

If your prospective partner is good looking, has a secure occupation, shares many of your interests and whatever else you value - that is a bonus not to be despised. But these matters are not of first importance. They must never replace the one thing that really matters." [which is that we marry 'only in the Lord' or only a true believing Christian].

And in another place it says:
"2. Marriage to a believer is one of the ways you can glorify the Lord.
The great question for every believer is, how can I best live to please God? The Apostle Paul teaches us that our whole life should be governed by the principle, 'whatever you do, do it all for the the glory of God' (1 Corinthians 10:31). In the context in which Paul writes these words, he is emphasizing the fact that even our eating and drinking should be controlled by this principle. He is clearly teaching that we can and ought to seek to glorify God in the things we allow ourselves to eat and drink. But that is only one example of the principle. It is not just that God expects us to glorify him in what we eat or drink but also, 'whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.' This means that every believer who contemplates marriage ought to ask, 'Can I be married to the glory of God?

Believers should never simply get married because they want to be married or because they feel pressured into being married. No! believers should only marry if they can marry to the glory of God. Believers should be thinking of the purpose that God intends marriage to fulfill."

Just remember, this is a blog about grace and I wouldn't be a 'grace man' if I didn't say that all we have, or will ever have that is good, only comes from God. Prov. 19:14 says, "House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD." God has not promised us a marriage partner, but He has promised eternal life, where marriage will no longer be necessary, and He has promised to give more grace to the humble (Titus 1:2; Luke 20:34-36; James 4:6).

When considering marriage, I usually think about death also, because we just don't know if we will have the opportunity to get the kind of marriage we desire in our hearts. I honestly never expected to live past 22 or 23 for a couple reasons. One is that I know people who died at a similar age before they were able to marry, and I always thought, "Why them and not me?" We just don't know if we will live long enough to be married. Christ could even return before that happens, so we need to make sure marriage is not "the end all be all" of our hope, but eternity with the risen Savior is. I'll be arriving at 25 in a few months, and it is possible that I could die before I get there. So I think the question we should examine ourselves with most searchingly is, "Have we found our satisfaction in the truth and trustworthiness of God in Jesus Christ according to the promises of His Word - the Bible?" With that said, I still plan on getting a prudent wife from the LORD if He would be so gracious.

This post relates to these also:
I also wrote in much more detail on the subject of marriage a number of weeks ago here:

12 comments:

cj said...

Hmmm, Wonderful thoughts.

BTW: How's your Grandma doing? Is she OK?

Penn Tomassetti said...

CJ,
"Hmmm, Wonderful thoughts."
Which thoughts?

My grandma is pretty ill, she is in hospice care. I will probably travel out to see her in Ohio if the Lord wills.

Rita Martinez said...

Thanks for sharing those quotes, I think it truly is a privilege that we get to glorify God with marriage, and that in our lives even marriage is about Christ and His Gospel!

"I am not joking, but I honestly never expected to live past 22 or 23. I'll be arriving at 25 in a few months, and I may die before I get there"
What do you mean by that? why didn't you think you'd make it past 22?

Penn Tomassetti said...

Hi Rita,

Thanks for asking what I meant... I probably should have explained in the first place... I didn't expect to live because I suppose death could happen suddenly at any time, sooner or later. I just expected it to be sooner. I didn't really have any other reasons to think that way than that we just don't know when it will happen. For example, over the past 5 years, I have heard of highschool classmates who died in motorcycle or car accidents, and I figured it could happen to me as well, so I better not store up my treasure on earth will it can be lost.

Penn Tomassetti said...

that's "where it can be lost."

And my motivation is to continually look forward to either death or the return of Christ, so that which ever one comes first, I will be found ready and waiting to see my Lord by His grace that works in me.

Penn Tomassetti said...

"I am not joking, but I honestly never expected to live past 22 or 23. I'll be arriving at 25 in a few months, and I may die before I get there"
What do you mean by that? why didn't you think you'd make it past 22?"


I went back in and revised this, because I realized it didn't sound right or seem to match what I was thinking when I wrote it.

Rita Martinez said...

"(...)I honestly never expected to live past 22 or 23 for a couple reasons. One is that I know people who died at a similar age before they were able to marry, and I always thought, "Why them and not me?" We just don't know if we will live long enough to be married."
I can understand your line of thinking, I too have had friends die and just this year I had an accident riding one of those quad bikes, and believe me the thoughts that ran through my mind just before the thing flew over a field were all the times my mom told me about people dying in accidents caused by said bikes. It really puts things into perspective, and like you wrote the correct perspective is having found "our satisfaction in the truth and trustworthiness of God in Jesus Christ according to the promises of His Word - the Bible."

Penn Tomassetti said...

Rita,

"I too have had friends die and just this year I had an accident riding one of those quad bikes,"

Wow... that sounds like a scary thing for you to fly off a four-wheeler. I'm sorry to hear about your friends.

I went to one funeral in 2006 for someone I knew in highschool, people were saying he was fired up for Christ during his time in college and was witnessing to whoever he could, but he fell off his motorcycle and died on his way to a Bible study. A lot of my unsaved friends from highschool were at his funeral. One of the most moving things about it was that I think he was praying for me when he visited Pittsburgh at one point, because his parents told me he had mentioned me to them, and his friends in Pittsburgh knew I was there. I didn't see him since highschool cuz we weren't close buddies, but we knew each other. He was 23 when he died, but a lot of girls would have loved to be his wife, however the Lord took him. The verse on his funeral bulletin read, "For me to live is Christ and to die is gain." (Phil. 1:21).

And that's the way I think we should all think, that we may not have tomorrow, but do we have Christ? Is Christ our life, and is dying gain to us? Then I think marriage will be hugely appreciated if it does come, cuz we know it is by God's mercy.

Penn Tomassetti said...

Rita,

Oh yeah... I wanted to thank you for sharing about your experience with the bike.

Phylicia said...

Hi Penn!
I am finally blogging again, so I thought I would stop by. This is a great post on marriage. I wish, I WISH, I had not made marriage the end all when I was in my early teens, because the source of the sins I struggle with now lie in that idea. I find it so hard for Christ to satisfy me sometimes -- especially now that I am eighteen and able to be courted/dating. Impatience and discontent keep rising up.
I know this sounds depressing, but your post was good... if you are still praying for me (after our "vitriolic" discussions) I would ask that you pray that I find ultimate satisfaction and contentment in Christ, apart from human means.
In Him
Phylicia

Penn Tomassetti said...

Hi Phylicia,
Thank you for your comments. I will pray that for you. I was praying that as you read the Bible, you would see so much glory in Him.
God bless.

Penn Tomassetti said...

Phylicia,
Oh, and welcome back to the blogging world! :D