Who Should I Marry? Part 2

Here are some passages I wanted to share from the booklet, "Whom Shall I Marry," by Andrew Swanson:

"It is not wrong to wish for someone you find attractive, who shares similar interests or a similar background. These and many other qualifications have some importance in guiding your choice of a marriage partner. The one qualification, however, that is a must as opposed to an optional extra is that the prospective partner really shares your Christian faith.

If your prospective partner is good looking, has a secure occupation, shares many of your interests and whatever else you value - that is a bonus not to be despised. But these matters are not of first importance. They must never replace the one thing that really matters." [which is that we marry 'only in the Lord' or only a true believing Christian].

And in another place it says:

"2. Marriage to a believer is one of the ways you can glorify the Lord.

The great question for every believer is, how can I best live to please God? The Apostle Paul teaches us that our whole life should be governed by the principle, 'whatever you do, do it all for the the glory of God' (1 Corinthians 10:31). In the context in which Paul writes these words, he is emphasizing the fact that even our eating and drinking should be controlled by this principle. He is clearly teaching that we can and ought to seek to glorify God in the things we allow ourselves to eat and drink. But that is only one example of the principle. It is not just that God expects us to glorify him in what we eat or drink but also, 'whatever you do, do it all for the glory of God.' This means that every believer who contemplates marriage ought to ask, 'Can I be married to the glory of God?

Believers should never simply get married because they want to be married or because they feel pressured into being married. No! believers should only marry if they can marry to the glory of God. Believers should be thinking of the purpose that God intends marriage to fulfill."

Just remember, this is a blog about grace and I wouldn't be a 'grace man' if I didn't say that all we have, or will ever have that is good, only comes from God. Prov. 19:14 says, "House and wealth are inherited from fathers, but a prudent wife is from the LORD." God has not promised us a marriage partner, but He has promised eternal life, where marriage will no longer be necessary, and He has promised to give more grace to the humble (Titus 1:2; Luke 20:34-36; James 4:6).

When considering marriage, I usually think about death also, because we just don't know if we will have the opportunity to get the kind of marriage we desire in our hearts. I honestly never expected to live past 22 or 23 for a couple reasons. One is that I know people who died at a similar age before they were able to marry, and I always thought, "Why them and not me?" We just don't know if we will live long enough to be married. Christ could even return before that happens, so we need to make sure marriage is not "the end all be all" of our hope, but eternity with the risen Savior is. I'll be arriving at 25 in a few months, and it is possible that I could die before I get there. So I think the question we should examine ourselves with most searchingly is, "Have we found our satisfaction in the truth and trustworthiness of God in Jesus Christ according to the promises of His Word - the Bible?" With that said, I still plan on getting a prudent wife from the LORD if He would be so gracious.

This post relates to these also:

Who Should I Marry? Two Resources to Help in the Struggle

He Gives Grace to the Humble
Is God's Grace Sufficient?

I also wrote in much more detail on the subject of marriage a number of weeks ago here:

Genesis Chapter Two: Man and Woman Married in the Garden

Grace Abounding: Update on some things

I cannot express the thanks I have toward God for all who have been praying for my grandma. My dad arrived home tonight. He is pretty sad, because he lost his dad five months ago and now his mom is very ill. We have lived 8 hours away from his family all my life. We always only would visit them occasionally. Please keep praying for faith in my grandmother, that she would trust in Christ alone as her salvation. I hope to go visit her before she dies, so I will probably drive out with my siblings this weekend.

I'm still memorizing Psalm 119, although it has slowed down, since I need to make it stick. So I'm going over what I've got so far of it. I can still fly through Alef like crazy, but I'm working on keeping some other lines in my mind before moving on. With all that is going on lately, I have some things on my mind, nevertheless, my joy in Christ has been greatly increased this past week. There is nothing better than joy in God through our Lord Jesus Christ (Romans 5:11)!

There are some new things added to my internet life on the sidebar there: Pennspod (which is some audio clips of my evangelism adventures and other things which I decided to share for encouragement); Learning to Speak in Tongues (my new blog to help me perfect a gift I've requested from the Lord); and there is a song sung by Michael Card and Sarah Groves on the sidebar, called "Jubilee" (you have no choice, you have to hear it!).

In thinking on the topic of marriage according to a post from a few days ago, I thought the lyrics to this song were pretty insightful. No matter what our circumstances, these words are true for me:

These lyrics accompany the song "You're So Good To Me" from the I Stand In Awe album by Steve & Vikki Cook (Sovereign Grace Music).

Lyrics

You’ve given me so much
More than I’d ever dreamed
And so much more than I deserve
Your mercies surround me, reminding me anew
That all I have has come from You
It’s all from You

For You have crowned my days
With overwhelming grace
Lord, You’re so good to me
Though troubles fall like rain
This precious truth remains
Lord, You’re so good to me
Yes, You’re so good to me

You chose me, You saved me
And made me Your own
Promised that You would never leave
Soon one day, You’ll call me
And we’ll see face to face
‘Til then You’ve given me a taste of paradise

This is grace abounding in a world of sin and trouble (...I'm sorry, that line I just wrote reminds me of a Tupac song I used to listen to because of the words "in this world of sin" - don't ask why that just came to my mind - but now I think this way: this is grace abounding over and above sin and trouble in the promises of God's Word).

Grace to you all.

Please pray for my grandmother and family

I just told my dad to call my mom, because she told me my grandmother's heart and kidneys are failing and they took her to the hospital. The family in Ohio wants my dad and mom to come there before she dies (if the Lord wills, perhaps she will recover). My grandmother's name is Elizabeth Tomassetti, and she was born in Ireland. My grandfather Tomassetti just died in April this year. Most of my Tomassetti family lives 8 hours away in Wooster Ohio. They all need prayer for salvation and for peace. This will be tough for my parents to travel tomorrow in this situation.

Thank you all in Christ Jesus my precious Savior.

Penn

Faith vs. Works? My Morning Meditation on Galatians

[I was reading this morning, and the following thoughts came to my mind, so I turned them into a post.]

In the letter to the Galatians, Paul used some strong, strong language to warn them about trusting in a work's (law) based salvation. At the end of chapter four, after he explained the difference between the two covenants - how one is of the flesh but the other is of a promise, one is for slavery and the other for freedom, one is from below while the other is from above, one is born of the flesh and the other born of the Spirit - he then ends with these words, "But what does the Scripture say? "Cast out the slave woman and her son, for the son of the slave woman shall not inherit with the son of the free woman." So brothers, we are not children of the slave but of the free woman." (Galatians 4:30-31 ESV).

So we see that all who are of the flesh, and who remain under the covenant of works-righteousness (law) for salvation, cannot be heirs with those who are of faith. It is only the children of the promise who are saved. Paul's point has become clear by this section of his letter, which is that salvation is only by faith in Christ. Faith unites us with Jesus, and it is in Christ Jesus alone where we find eternal life (1 John 5:11-12). As long as anyone continues in a course of works-based righteousness, they will never attain to the righteousness that leads to eternal life, which is given freely only to those who believe in Jesus Christ our Lord (Romans 3:21-24). Christ died, was buried and rose again on the third day making sufficient atonement and satisfaction for all the sins of those who trust in God through Him. It is only through His Person and His work that we are reconciled back to God the Father. There is no other way for sinners to be justified and reconciled to God for eternity.

I was once exhorted to remember Paul's own words in the beginning of chapter five: "For freedom Christ has set us free; stand firm therefore, and do not submit again to a yoke of slavery [works-righteousness]" (Galatians 5:1 ESV). We ought to also know and understand that faith does not free us to live any longer in sin, but rather it frees us to enjoy living by God's grace through faith which always works through love (Ephesians 2:8,9,10; Galatians 5:6).

Grace and peace be multiplied to all who find their righteousness and rest in our Lord Jesus Christ.

RELATED POSTS:
Total Depravación, part 2
In Hope He Believed Against Hope
Entering His Rest

Who Should I Marry? Two Resources to Help in the Struggle

This title comes from a booklet called, "Whom Shall I Marry?" published by the Banner of Truth Trust and available here to order.

With all the commotion around Christian circles today about singleness, dating and marriage, I thought I'd check out this booklet. Personally, I think a lot of the singleness/dating/marriage talk and books flowing through Evangelical circles are somewhat ridiculous. There is a certain point where you can talk about certain subjects too much (of course not including the gospel, which can never be spoken too much, yet I've been accused of that). Nevertheless, it still is an important subject and shouldn't be ignored.

I have been unmarried my entire adult life, which is going on seven years (if you consider age 18 to be adulthood). That means that I have had some time to wrestle with thoughts on this issue, (just as those close to my age can very aptly understand). People often ask me, "Why don't you have a girlfriend?" or "Are you looking for anyone?" and other similar questions. My most recent answers have been like this: "When Abraham sent his servant to get a wife for Isaac, the one thing he made his servant swear to do was not to get a wife for his son from the Canaanite daughters." (Genesis 24:3). There is one crucial thing for a Christian when considering marriage, and that is marrying "only in the Lord" (marrying only a like-minded believer - 1 Corinthians 7:39). The Canaanite women proved to be a disaster to every saint who ever messed with them (just remember Solomon who was the wisest guy, yet even he stumbled in this area).

The starting point of the booklet is a much needed reminder that we are not our own, but were bought with a price (1 Corinthians 6:20; 7:23). We belong to God, and as His temple, we are to be holy and honor God with our bodies. This should be at the center of our thinking when choosing what to do about marrage. I especially like what 1 Peter 1:18-19 tells us about being bought with the precious blood of Christ. That kind of love deserves our whole-hearted devotion to Him who first loved us.

Well, the booklet does a great job at explaining this familiar concept in a positive way as well as in the negative. It talks about why Christians must not marry unbelievers and gives a lot of good reasons for it, which I don't have time to list. One of them being that unbelievers are the enemies of Christ.

It keeps at the center of the message the truth that God is a benevolent Father who knows what our greatest needs are and how to provide for His children best (Matthew 7:11). It also offers some helpful advice, such as this: "In seeking a marriage partner, the first rule to observe is: 'Seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness' (Matthew 6:33)." I would recommend this resource to any single Christian friend thinking about what kind of person is acceptable to consider marrying. I really don't think there is anything too legalistic in it, (such as I've found in some of the other books I've read on Christian single male/female relationships). I wish I could say more, but my lunch break time is running out. :º

While I'm at it, I also want to list one of my favorite resources I ever found on this topic, which is a message by Mark Dever at a Desiring God conference called, "Christian Hedonists or Religious Prudes? The Puritans on Sex." I really think the Puritans understood more than we do all the trials and temptations surrounding this subject. If you have an hour to listen, or download it and listen in the car, etc. This one is really worth your time.

That's all for now, and may God's magnificent grace through Christ be your glory.

Related Posts:
Who Should I Marry? part 2
Is God's Grace Sufficient?

Moving On To Maturity or Leaving The Gospel Behind?

There are a lot of times when we need to get real and grow up... and stop acting like children (Hebrews 5:11-12,13-14, 6:1-2). In America, the tendency can be to remain childish and stupid, and that makes you a better person (as long as you are 'loving') than those grown up mature *#%jerks. It is foolish to never learn to tell the difference between what is good for you and what will kill you. Such knowledge requires some level of maturity and experience.

However, when it comes to one thing, we must never move on. That is the one thing people sometimes will tempt us to leave, saying, "I've heard enough about the gospel and all that... I just feel it's time to move on to something deeper."

Colossians 1:21-22,23 reminds us to be stable, steadfast and not shifting from the hope of the gospel that you heard. Galatians 1:6-7,8-9 strongly warns with a curse against being led away from the one and only gospel of the grace of Christ. There is no other subject we should hold to more tightly than the good news that Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners... (1 Timothy 1:15).

I was reminded again this morning as I read Galatians chapter one, of how important it is to hold firmly to the true grace of Christ without moving. By the mighty power of God through His Holy Spirit, we who are saved must and will do so to the end.

Related Posts:
Justified by Grace
Full of Grace
Hell and Grace

Grace Abounding: Rejection is Good

Last night, Matt and I hit the streets of York again. This time, it seemed people were walking around all over the place for such a small downtown city area. We gave away some tracts, talked with a few people about why the gospel is good news, again using Romans 5:6 as our text. Although a few people were open, most rejected us. I am used to getting rejected, and it is good for me to not always have huge success in witnessing, because it reminds me that 1) people are lost without the power of God's grace, 2) people are naturally enemies of Christ, 3) Jesus promised we would not be liked, 4) it keeps my heart from resting in this world, 5) it makes prayer a necessity. We did pray afterward for some of the people we met. We also prayed that the Lord would drive away all the religious demons in that city, and that people's hearts would be opened to the good news. Man-made religion seems to make hearts twice as hard as they normally are, and that seems to be the case often in York.

There are probably more reasons why rejection is good for me. It makes me laugh to think of what Bob says in Pittsburgh, "The Lord knew we needed the rejection today." Praise God! I'm looking forward to seeing answered prayers! Yesterday I was simply praising God that He always hears my prayers and that He answers me in supernatural ways. To me, that is just amazing, because I do not feel like one worthy of the same experiences as those in the Bible, but that is what we are - supernatural children. That is also one of the privileges of being a child of God by grace through faith in Christ (1 John 5:14-15).

Remembering God's Purposes for Suffering

John Piper wrote today on the Desiring God blog about five purposes God has in the suffering of Christians. You can read it here: Preparing for Sudden Suffering.

The five purposes he listed were like these:

1) a call to repentance (Luke 13:5)

2) a call to trust God (2 Corinthians 1:9)

3) as Fatherly discipline in order to share in His holiness (Hebrews 12:6,10-11)

4) to work for us a greater reward in heaven (2 Corinthians 4:17; Matthew 5:11-12)

5) to remind us of why Jesus came to suffer (Philippians 3:10; Mark 10:45)

How Have Your Trials Produced Hope?

I recently watched a video by Voice of the Martyrs with my teen Bible study group. It told the stories of Christians who had been severely persecuted in countries around the world. Jesus promised that Christians would have it rough in this world. In fact, He said:

"If the world hates you, know that it hated me before it hated you. If you were of the world, the world would love you as its own; but because you are not of the world, but I chose you out of the world, therefore the world hates you. Remember the word that I said to you: 'A servant is not greater than his master.' If they persecuted me, they will also persecute you. If they kept my word, they will also keep yours." (John 15:18-21 ESV).

Many of us live in countries where persecution is much less severe than in places like Orissa, India (right now), or Pakistan. However, does that mean we are excused from the world's hatred in our more free countries? How have you, or someone you know, experienced suffering as a Christian? Has there been pressure on you to deny the truth since you became a Christian? How has your faith been tested, and how has that produced hope in Christ? (Romans 5:3-4; Philippians 1:29).

This post is also highly related to these:

Romans Chapter 5, part 1 (on As It Is Written)

Hope Does Not Disappoint

Persecuted Christians in India

Hope Does Not Disappoint

This is a passage from my Bible study over on As It Is Written. I thought I'd post it here for encouragement to anyone who does not read my Bible studies. I hope you enjoy!

(On Romans 5:1-5)

Romans 5:4... What is the third thing sufferings produce? Or, what does tested character produce? Character produces hope. Hope is a really good thing. It means to be waiting with expectation. When I was studying this word in the Bible, I thought of this example for hope: The Bible's definition of hope is similar to the feeling you get when you know it is sure your team is going to win. You are watching a football game, or playing soccer or something else, and everything is intense, then the time starts running out, and your team does something like scores or whatever, and you realize it's all over. The game is over - your team is going to win and now it is just a matter of time until it ends. And you begin to rejoice, even jump for joy, because you know it's finished. You know what the outcome is going to be, and so you are filled with hopeful expectation. That is the idea we get here. Suffering produces endurance in the justified believer's life, which produces tested proven character, which produces joyful hope.

Verse 5
and hope does not put us to shame because the love of God has been
poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given
to us.

What does hope not do for us? Hope does not put us to shame. The NASB says, "and hope does not disappoint." Verse 5 is the climax of all the spiritual blessings listed in Romans 5:1-5. Hope, which means "waiting in expectation" does not leave the justified ashamed or disappointed. Why not? How could someone have hope, and then end up disappointed or put to shame? Proverbs 13:12 says, "Hope deferred makes the heart sick, but a desire fulfilled is a tree of life."

...Now, we are reading here that while Christians may suffer extremely in this life, and we are promised that it will be so, nevertheless, this hope will not be deferred, it will be fulfilled. Christians may die, yet Christ, who is our hope, will return and will raise the dead. And this is how we know our hope will be fulfilled, because it says, "the love of God has been poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us." I have often thought, how could I ever doubt God's love? How can I doubt His love when He has given me everything? He gave His Son, as we will see in verse 6, and He gave me His Holy Spirit to be in me and with me. Through the Holy Spirit, God has poured out His love into the hearts of those of us who are justified. The Holy Spirit is given as a down payment, or as an engagement ring. He is the seal of God's promise that He will save those who are justified by faith. This love of God is poured out into our hearts through the Holy Spirit. So if you have the Holy Spirit, then God's love has been poured into your hearts through Him and you have this hope that will never put you to shame, because it will be fulfilled!

Hope really does produce joy, and that is what I was attempting to show throughout the study of this section of Romans. To read the entire article and get the context of the lesson on hope, click here.

Grace, peace and love to all who hope in God through Jesus. (Romans 5:11).
Here is a song I found on UTube by Sarah Groves. I think it relates big time to hope, because it convicted me to look forward to the promise of God instead of back to "Egypt."

Grace Abounding: Love is the Motivation

Love was manifest (made clear) to us in the gift of Christ Jesus our Lord, who died for us while we were still His enemies (Romans 5:6,10). God is love (1 John 4:8,16). Love comes from God (1 John 4:7), and those who love have been born of God and know God (1 John 4:7-8). In fact, our faith works through love (Galatians 5:6). In other words, we are saved because of God's love for us, our love for God and for one another comes from Him, and all the works of faith are worked through love. As my grandmother likes to say, "Love is the key."

So why am I saying all this? "Don't we already know it?" Well, because when I drove through the city of York today, I was praying for God's love to work in me to love the people. I met my friend, Matt, in the square. We stood there for about 5 seconds when we met a guy carrying a motorcycle helmet who said he didn't believe in God. I talked with him for about 10-15 minutes, appealing to the fact that he knew when he was a child that there was a God, and that he was afraid of dying (I said it all in a gracious manner). We talked a little about Creation and the Fall in Genesis, but my main focus was testifying to God's love shown in that He loved me while I was a self-righteous religious hypocrite and an enemy of God when He reconciled me by grace. This guy at first didn't look like he wanted to talk, but he ended by thanking me and accepting a small gospel of John. I ended by pointing him to Jesus and saying, "You cannot believe, because faith is a gift that God must give." (See Ephesians 2:8). He agreed with that statement more than anything, and perhaps he will read that gospel of John (See John 20:31).

The next person we met was Brad. He was in his early twenties and is white. He lives in the city and told me some guys on one street threatened him with a gun. He seemed a little stressed out. I thought he probably had a mental illness, and he told me he is bi-polar and had been praying because of his suicidal thoughts. We went to McDonald's to sit down and talk. While we were there, one of the older black women said he was her neighbor. She sees me come in every week, so I think they are opening up a little. We sat down and talked about our health conditions and our outward vices, each of us sharing similar but different problems, then we talked about the ROOT of the problem - SIN. I kept pointing Brad to Christ as the answer, and he said, "He's the root killer!" I said, "Yeah, He killed our sin root problem in His own body when He was crucified." Brad wanted our phone numbers, so perhaps he will meet with us again. He said God meant for us to meet today. (Of course, a lot more was said concerning the gospel in these conversations, but I cannot write it all. My main text was Romans 5:6,8,10).

Last of all, as Matt left, I was at the cross walk, and there were a group of Hispanic Christians preaching in the Square from a loudspeaker. They had a bunch of people from their own church standing around with tracks. It was all in Spanish, so I couldn't understand what they were saying, except for, "A Su nombre Gloria!" ("Glory to His name!" I'm not sure if I worded that right?). There was a girl standing at the cross walk, so I handed her a gospel tract and asked her some questions. I will call her "Luella," because I couldn't pronounce her name in Spanish. She had an accent, and as we talked she said she had been here for 9 years, so I asked where she was from, and she said from the Dominican Republic. So I said, "I have a friend who lives there!" (I hope you don't mind me mentioning you, Rita? Rita's blog is New Human Life). I said what I always say in Spanish, "Tiene un Biblia?" (Do you have a Bible?) She pointed to her purse. Then before I left, I mentioned, "La salvacion es por la gracia de Dios... no por obras." And I explained that in english, that it is the gift of God by grace that we are saved, and not by our works.

I left feeling joyful, because God answered my prayers. I also saw Charles, my homeless friend, and Smitty, who always asks me for things now at McDonalds. I don't have the love apart from God's grace working it in me through Christ, but God called me to evangelism, and I am so thankful that He raised up Matt as my fellow worker in the field. Usually I don't like to go alone. I share all this to encourage you all in your prayers and love toward the perishing. I order a lot of good resources to give to people from these places:
www.mountzion.org (Tracts and booklets - "The Poor Huckster" and "Greasy the Robber" are classic stories to give to those interested).
www.wtsbooks.com (inexpensive Bibles and pocket NT's in ESV).
www.ibsdirect.com (gospel of John in English and Spanish, and sometimes other languages).

This is grace abounding from York to Gap, Pennsylvania. Grace to you (Ephesians 6:24).
(Please also listen to these songs: "Why?" and "Love Crucified")

The Gospel is About Love

Romans 5:8
"but God shows his love for us in that while we were still sinners, Christ died for us."

This is God's love: The Son of God died on a tree in place of me (1 John 4:9-10). The Son of God gave his life in exchange for mine. The Son of God experienced His Father's judgment and wrath instead of me. Love... Love that is out of this world. Love from God while I was still a sinner (ungodly, under God's wrath, an enemy of God - Romans 5:6,8,9,10), Christ died for me. That is love, and that is the good news.

It had nothing to do with my decision either, because God decided to love me in this way without consulting me. If the LORD had said to me, "What do you think if I send my Son, and have Him die instead of you?" I probably would have said, "No! I'll pay for my own sin. Thank you." But God didn't ask me, instead, He sent Christ into the world as a baby, and the Lord Jesus arrested my heart with His love (Galatians 2:20; Revelation 1:5-6).

"For if while we were enemies we were reconciled to God by the death of his Son, much more, now that we are reconciled, shall we be saved by his life." (Romans 5:10 ESV).

This is good news of great joy (Luke 2:10) and it is worth preaching (proclaiming) to the world!

Grace, peace and love to all who treasure Jesus with lasting joy.